Attraction
by AdenaMentzel
Summary: IzzieAddison, 3rd season sometime. Both women find themselves attracted to the other. [Posted in gafanfic on lj]
1. Chapter 1

Around Addison Montgomery, Isobel Stevens had always been awkward. She never knew quite what to say or how to behave, which invariably led to her asking all the wrong questions, and commenting on stupid things such as how rich her name sounded or her inappropriate sex life.

Never before in her life had Izzie Stevens been flustered by a woman, not in this way. Honestly, she had never been stirred by and drawn to a person in quite this way before. Izzie was Catholic, this was forbidden and sinful, but not only that. Up until now, she had thought it to be completely unnatural.

Izzie tried her best to ignore her feelings, avoid labeling them and thus acknowledging them for what they truly were. However, in the back of her mind was the nagging knowledge of what was really going on.

It was hard for Izzie to keep her mask on, pretend that she felt nothing for the red-headed attending, especially in moments such as this where she found herself outside of the NICU, watching the older woman care for the young children who wouldn't have had a chance had it not been for Addison's extremely skilled and capable hands. Hands that Izzie wished would address her with the same soft, loving manner as the tiny preemie was receiving right at this very moment.

Though it was nearly one o'clock in the morning and Addison had been on call for an ungodly number of hours, to Izzie she looked now more beautiful than ever, renegade red locks framing her face, scrubs wrinkled and makeup all but rubbed off. Izzie watched as Addison nodded off to sleep in the rocking chair, still holding the tiny baby close to her chest and she couldn't help but smile. This was the softer side that the attending tried to hide from the world, the side that Isobel was sure would win over the hearts of everyone at Seattle Grace if she would just let it. It was almost as thought Addison Forbes Montgomery was afraid to let herself be loved. Izzie didn't understand how Alex, Sloan and Shepherd had allowed themselves to hurt such a beautiful creature so freely. Even if Alex had cheated on Izzie herself, she didn't understand how he could have just utterly shattered the woman before her, the woman who had cleary put so much hope and trust in him, only to receive exactly what she had feared-- more pain, loss and betrayal.

Izzie had tried to extract herself from the situation with George as delicately as possible, but that hadn't worked. She had thought that she truly loved him. But when she found out that he and Callie were trying to have a baby, and as he continued to try to push her away, she had realized that not only that he wasn't worth it, but also that her feelings had been defined incorrectly. She had sex with her best friend, good sex after a very long dry spell, and she had taken them to mean things that they hadn't. And now she had lost George, probably forever, to his wife, and the world was now the way that it should have been all along. Now if only Izzie could find someone to call her own-- someone who wasn't inappropriate, and preferably who wasn't involved with the hospital in any way, shape or form.

It didn't help that Izzie found herself thus fantasizing over something that she clearly couldn't have. Addison was her boss, and a woman. A very rich, probably very straight, almost forty-year-old woman.


	2. Chapter 2

After several minutes of admiring the way Addison and the baby, Izzie decided to make her presence known—after all, she had come up here for a reason, not to mention that as adorable as the image before her was, the baby needed to be returned to the isolette before either party got too comfortable. Aside from all of that, Addison would have been mortified if another doctor or nurse walked in and saw her like this.

Izzie padded over to the rocking chair gently and placed a hand on her shoulder softly. Fortunately, Addison was a light enough sleeper that the light pressure was all that was required to wake her up.

Groggy and disoriented, Addison awoke with a start and blinked several times to bring herself back to bring herself to a state of full consciousness, still securely holding the baby to her chest. Upon realizing that it had been Stevens who had woken her up, she blushed slightly, placing the small child into Isobel's outstretched arm so that the younger doctor could put her back where she belonged.

"Dr. Stevens, was there something that you needed?" she inquired as she watched Izzie gently place the infant in the isolette. There were so many things that Izzie wanted to say and do at that moment as she looked back at the gorgeous attending, like tell her how incredibly beautiful she was and kiss her tenderly to coax out the sparkle that Addison used to have in her eye, the one that Izzie hoped hadn't been extinguished permanently by Addison having been broken so many times. However, Izzie was embarrassed and afraid of what the attending would have done had she been that forward. She didn't think that she would be able to handle the disgust that would almost surely present itself on Addison's face if she kissed her. To be perfectly honest, the Izzie of a year ago would have been equally as disgusted as present Izzie assumed Addison would be.

What Izzie didn't know, however, was that in New York, Addison had been experimental. As a teen, she had nearly been suspended from her private all-girl High School for being caught making out with another girl in the bathroom (another girl who was a better kisser than Skippy Gold, she might add).

As young adult, she hadn't become anymore decisive about her sexuality, proclaiming that the person mattered more than the packaging. When it had come time to settle down, however, she had decided that she wanted the conventional family thing. She wanted a man with whom she could make babies and live happily ever after.

Clearly, that happily ever after never came. Men, it seemed, were overrated, and often she wondered what her life would have been like if she had taken the alternate route. Granted, she probably wouldn't have made it as far as she had professionally, but it could have potentially been worth it. No matter how much she wanted to be chief of surgery, more than anything she wanted to be happy.

If anything, this sentiment was only strengthened by her husband's absence when she was married. From the outside, they were a power couple—the dream team, if you will. They had the money, the status, everything that they had dreamed of. But she didn't have him, and if she thought about it carefully, she never really had. He had been far from the perfect partner, and thought a part of her would always love him, in retrospect she was uncertain as to why they even made it as far as they did. From the start of their relationship there had been infidelity and miscommunication, not to mention his killer indifference at times, all of which happened to ultimately end the marriage.

Addison was looking for a change in her life, and currently she wanted nothing more than to be spontaneous with the young woman in front of her, to feverishly press her lips to the younger doctors' and taste all that she had to offer.

But how could she? This wasn't New York, after all, and the chances of Stevens being on the same wavelength were slim to none, unlike in Manhattan, where anything could happen.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** R&R, s'il vous plait

* * *

Izzie stood frozen in the stairwell. She could hear Addison talking on the phone from the level above her, and Izzie could not believe what she was hearing. She was talking about taking a job in Los Angeles, discussing when her flight would leave in a week. It struck Izzie that Dr. Montgomery must have been planning this for a while, and must have discussed her departure with the Chief at least a week ago, if not more than that.

Izzie refused to believe the words that she was hearing, and wrote it off as something that she had misheard, however she was struck by an overwhelming desire to tell the attending how she felt. Izzie was nothing if not honest, but that didn't mean that she wanted to get hurt.

Someone coughed from the level below Addison and she knew that she was no longer alone. She abruptly ended her conversation and hung up the phone, not wanting anyone to know that she was leaving, if she could help it. She knew that she should have discussed this with Richard as soon as she decided that she was leaving, but she couldn't stand to see the hurt in his eyes when she told him. She couldn't risk him convincing her to stay in this god-forsaken place. She needed more glamour and sunshine than the dreary city had to offer. The never-ending rain was definitely having an effect on her personality, not to mention all of the complicated relationships with men that followed her in Seattle. She needed change. She needed to get away.

Addison made her way over to the hand rail, peeking down cautiously to see who was below her, to try to determine if she needed to do damage control. Of all of the people that Addison had expected (or dreaded) overhearing her conversation, she would not have expected it to be Izzie Stevens. And even if the thought had crossed her mind, she certainly wouldn't have been able to predict the way that it made her feel.

Izzie had been looking up when Addison looked down, and their eyes had locked briefly. The younger doctor looked pained and confused, but also shocked. Addison would never have expected that the soon-to-be-resident would have been so affected—she figured that the only reason Izzie ever thought of her was to hate her—whether for the quints or on Meredith's behalf. She had never even considered that she had succeeding in becoming the younger woman's mentor, or that they both found each other to be physically attractive.

Clearly upset and embarrassed, Izzie fled the stairwell, leaving Addison baffled and somehow feeling as though she had betrayed the young surgeon, though she wasn't exactly sure how or why.


	4. Chapter 4

Addison chased after Izzie. Well, not so much chased as walked quickly after, slowly and nonchalantly enough not to look weird running after the intern. Calmly, she entered the intern locker room, hoping that she would find Izzie there. She heard soft crying as she carefully made her way around the rows and rows of green metal, cursing the volume of her current footwear.

Addison's breath caught as she reached the end of a set of lockers, revealing Izzie Stevens, red-faced and crumpled on the floor, tears sliding down her face and dropping to her scrubs, unobstructed by her hands. She didn't seem to have noticed Addison's entrance, she just stared ahead, seemingly entranced by the wall in front of her. Addison slid down to the floor beside the intern, but far enough away that they weren't touching.

"Stevens, are you alright?"

"Were you even going to tell me?" Izzie inquired softly, still staring straight ahead. Addison looked at her, dumbfounded. She knew very little about the girl beside her on a personal level, other than the fact that they were freakishly similar when it came to being too attached to patients and sleeping with the wrong people. She couldn't consider Izzie a friend, either, given that Izzie had thrown a wrench into her best friend's marriage by sleeping with her husband, although, truth be told it wasn't entirely Izzie's fault. Plus, there was the fact that Izzie never talked to her. Sure, she had forgiven her for the quints, but that didn't mean that they ever conversed other than when necessary—unlike Addison's mutually flirtatious relationship with Alex. That wasn't to say that Addison didn't like Izzie—they got along well, and Addison was quite fond of the intern—she just wasn't always sure that the feeling was mutual. Also, if Addison were being completely honest with herself, she wanted nothing more than to touch Izzie, more so now that she was crying, now that she seemed so hurt and defeated.

"Izzie…"

"So what, you just wanted me to come into work one day and find that you were not here? That you just…up and left?"

"Izzie, I haven't told anyone that I'm leaving. Not even the Chief."

"But you were going to tell them. You weren't going to tell me." Addison looked at her curiously.

"And why should I have told you?" she asked, not out of malice, but simply because she was unsure.

"Because…because…" Izzie was finding herself at a loss for words. Why should Addison have told her? Just because Izzie tended to favor her service? That didn't mean anything. Izzie was an intern, an intern that Addison probably hated for screwing over one of her only friends. Addison raises an eyebrow.

"Because?"

"Because I've been on your service more than most other people and…and you're kind of…my mentor person," Izzie says sheepishly, knowing full well that her argument probably sounds half-baked—as it should, it is. She knows there is no reason that Addison should have told her.

Addison had to tell herself not to assume that there was something more there, or that Izzie actually cared about her beyond the loose, casual workplace relationship that they had forged. She had hardly expected anyone to care about her departure, much less the bottle-blonde intern.

"Why haven't you told anyone yet?" Izzie's question shook Addison from her reverie. When Addie didn't speak, Izzie became anxious. "I mean, because, um, you know…two weeks notice and all that stuff…I thought maybe…you would've told the Chief or something." Addison held up a hand, effectively silencing Izzie's nervous rambling. She cleared her throat.

"I…haven't told anyone because…honestly? I'm still looking for a reason to stay." Her voice has grown thick with tears and she is looking Izzie directly in the eye, attempting to hide the spark of hope that Izzie had ignited within her. It was ridiculous to think that her probably straight female intern could provide her with a reason sound enough to keep her in Seattle, but the unreasonable hope was there nonetheless.

Izzie was uncertain what she should do to soothe the older woman's pain. She wasn't sure if she was capable of being the reason that Addison needed to stay in Seattle, or even if Addison would allow her to be that reason even if Izzie were capable of it. She thought that she sensed hope and longing in the older woman's eyes, but she could have been mistaken. She wanted to take a risk and just reach out and touch her, hold her, soothe her, give her a reason to believe in herself again. Izzie wanted to put her back together.

But Izzie was a paralyzed. She was afraid to reach out because she didn't think she could handle the pain of rejection. She didn't think that she had a chance. Addison, on the other hand, was desperate. She figured that things couldn't get much worse, and she wanted desperately to find a reason to stay, a reason not to run away—running away wasn't really her M.O., it was Derek's. The way that Addison saw it, there was very little harm in going after Izzie—if things went poorly, as they almost certainly would, she could be out of down at the drop of a hat. She knew that Richard wouldn't sue her for breaking her contract or anything like that. Addison also knew that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn't take a chance, especially when there was so little left to lose.

Addison tentatively moved closer to Izzie, taking Izzie's hand in her own. She put her two fingers beneath Izzie's chin, turning her head so that she was facing Addison. Izzie, encouraged by Addison's behavior, and perhaps struck by the reality of the situation, that Addison was probably leaving in the near future and thus Izzie wouldn't have another opportunity to be open and honest with her, leaned in closer to Addison, closing the distance between them and planted a warm, sweet kiss on Addison's lips. A kiss that was reciprocated and rapidly became fervent and desperate because of the desire and pent up emotion that charged it. Tongues dueled and explored, feeling and tasting every part of the divinely foreign wonderlands to which they were being introduced.

Addison stopped abruptly, pulling away gently from a very confused and profoundly hurt looking Izzie. It wasn't that Addison was unhappy with the situation—Izzie was more than Addison had allowed herself to hope for, and there was nothing more that she could wish for, but she was insecure.

Izzie looked deep into Addison's eyes, searching for the reason that she had broken away suddenly. Upon discovering all of the fear and anxiety displayed prominently in those large blue-green spheres, Izzie was instantly reassured. She delicately placed a comforting hand on Addison's shoulder. Addison recoiled a little, shrinking back into herself a little more. The woman before Izzie was not the strong, confident surgeon that she knew—in her place was a frightened little girl who had been abused and abandoned too many times to count, who needed reassurance. Addison looked at Izzie uncertainly.

"What are we doing, Izzie?" Her voice was cautious, uncertain. Izzie took one of Addison's hands between her own, calmly, looking into her eyes reassuringly.

"We're doing whatever it is that you want to do," she lightly ran a hand through Addison's ruby locks, tucking a strand of hair gently behind her ear, "now the only question is, what do you want?"

* * *

R&R per favore 


	5. Chapter 5

Izzie opened her eyes slowly, allowing them to test the light in the room. She stretched contentedly, yawning, recalling the events of the previous night. She rolled over onto her side gently, surprised to find that Addison was already awake and had apparently been watching her. Izzie flushed, embarrassed, as she realized that she was fully exposed and pulled the sheets up over herself. Addison laughed, gently pulling them back down again. Izzie looked at her quizzically. Addison shrugged.

"What? I like the view." She then leaned forward and kissed Izzie. Izzie frowned.

"No fair. You brushed your teeth."

"Well…I've been up for a while. I figured that I might as well." Izzie frowned, slightly concerned. Addison held out a hand to Izzie, preventing her from voicing her concerns, "Everything's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Addison…"

"No, I'm serious. I just have a lot on my plate right now, but it's nothing that I cannot handle." Izzie took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, willing herself to be patient and not to push. She knew what it was like to be damaged, and she knew that no matter how hard she pushed, Addison needed to at least try to cope her own way before she either asked for help directly or did something that simply proved she was incapable of doing it her own way. In the meantime, all Izzie could do was stand by her and give her the love that she had so obviously been searching for throughout her entire stay in Seattle—hell, it was what had dragged her out of New York in the first place—and it seemed to Izzie that she needed it now more than ever. Izzie planned to make her caring blatantly obvious to Addison and constantly remind her that she was there for her should she want or need to open up.

Casting any modesty or embarrassment aside, she threw the sheets off of both of them, straddling Addison and going straight for a particularly sensitive spot on her neck which she had discovered the previous night was guaranteed to get a moan out of the older woman.

Addison was caught of guard and moaned much too loudly, mostly out of surprise, having slipped into her own little world again. She had no idea what she was getting herself into, and now all of her plans seemed up in the air once again. She was unsure as to whether or not Izzie could be her reason to stay. She didn't know if she wanted to set herself up to be hurt again. It was bad enough that Richard hadn't given her Chief—granted, he was still the chief, but the fact that he had been planning to give it to Derek added insult to injury. Though she never would have outwardly admitted it, she would have much preferred if he had picked Mark for the job. Out of all of the candidates, Mark was the only one who was capable of making completely unbiased decisions and of removing himself from the situation. He was also the only one of them who would have been able to bury himself entirely in his work without repercussions within his social life. Regardless, she worried that it would be too painful to continue working in that hospital alongside Derek and Meredith, Mark and his conquests, and Alex and his conquests. She could justify herself by saying that she wasn't basing her decisions off of a _man_ this time, but she hardly thought that rationalization would hold any weight, even in her own head. If things went sour with Izzie, she would still have nothing left to stay in Seattle for, and she wasn't sure that one person would be enough of a reason to keep her there…she was tempted to stay, but this was no different, really, from her mistakes in the past. Alex wasn't a reason to stay, Derek wasn't a reason to pick up and move across the country. Even Mark wasn't reason enough to stay. How could she know for certain that this time was different?

Izzie sensed Addison's distraction and rolled off of her again, but staying close, holding Addison in her arms gently. She ran her hand up and down Addison's shoulder, worriedly watching the oblivious redhead in her arms. She sighed. This would likely be more difficult than she had anticipated.


	6. Chapter 6

Addison glanced at the clock with a start, as if suddenly realizing that she still had a job to do, despite the fact that everything seemed up in the air and she needed to make a decision—and if she didn't want that decision to be made for her, she needed to get her butt to Seattle Grace, where it should have been about twenty minutes ago.

Izzie was alarmed at the sudden movement on the bed.

"Addie?"

"Iz…I…late…gotta go," she muttered breathlessly, beginning to hyperventilate a little bit. No matter how much she knew that Richard wouldn't give her a hard time, she hated being late with a passion. And it was enough to make her panic.

Izzie sprang up from the bed and crossed the room to where Addison was quickly, gripping both of her shoulders tightly, preventing her from moving.

"Breathe."

Addison struggled against Izzie, still determined to get out and on her way as quickly as possible.

"Addison. I'm not letting you go until you calm down."

Hysterical tears poured out from Addison's eyes as her face turned read and her breathing became increasingly labored—all of which embarrassed her and made her feel as though she were five again, which didn't make this any easier.

Izzie clutched Addison tightly to her chest, soothing her gently and rubbing her back lightly for several minutes until she managed to calm down. Izzie pulled back from her lover and gently kissed her lips.

"Okay. Are you all right now?" Addison nodded, so Izzie continued, "Okay. Drive safely," and with that she handed Addison her keys and purse, then closed the door behind her. Feeling defeated and overwhelmed, Izzie leaned back against the door, sliding down to the floor. This was one of Izzie's very, very few days off (since she had worked entirely to many consecutive hours and they had made her leave), and she quite honestly didn't know what to do with herself because everything caused her to think about whether or not Addison was staying, because that decision would have a huge impact on her life as she knew it. It was frightening that after one night of sleeping with Addison she was already this hooked, this panicky (though truth be told, she had been like that before having slept with her or even expressing her feelings).


End file.
